Happy Father’s day to all the extraordinary Fathers in the world and there are hundreds of millions of you!
I can only write about my own upbringing and Father, who will turn 88 in November. I acknowledge I had, what some would call a privileged upbringing, not in terms of wealth, although we never wanted for anything, more in terms of the extraordinary example he set for me and my four siblings.
Dad was only 5 when his own father died heading off to WW2, Grandmother raised 5 children under 11. He did not grow up with a male role model daily in his life, although several Uncles stepped into the breach, yet he set an exemplary example for us to follow.
The lessons he taught us were constantly reinforced, not only verbally, more through his actions – he walked the talk, and we and all those fortunate enough to have come across his path are better for it.
Dad was always present – making us feel secure and supported – both physically and emotionally, and that was critical as we grew and developed from kids to teenagers and then adults. The sense of security his presence gave us allowed us to explore the world, express ourselves and fail on occasions, yet he was always there to provide advice, pick us up and tell us to go again.
Dad showed us how to handle challenges, as life doesn’t always go the way you want, and demonstrated how to interact with others, through his positive examples. This was in various ways, whether teaching us how to bowl or bat in cricket, how to kick a footy, speak in public, talk with adults, stand up for yourself and what you believe is right or just by being him being present at events, sports or milestones in our lives. He instilled in all of us a love of reading as it nourished our mind and expanded our perspective and challenged us to think differently.
Dad by doing this, and so much more, enriched the learning experiences, the five of us received on our life journey. This meant we developed important life skills like problem-solving, communication, and empathy, that have been invaluable.
He taught and challenged us to stand up for injustice and be prepared to stand out from the crowd, rather than be a sheep who just follows others to be liked. He made us aware that you have to give back to those less fortunate than you. It is the standard you walk past that becomes the standard you accept and to him that is unacceptable.
Dad served on countless boards or committees of professional and community associations and clubs because his view was if you want to change something or believed in it enough why not give back and get involved. This was better than complaining or throwing stones from the sideline, or in the world today writing missiles as an internet keyboard warrior. You can only bring about change or fight for something by putting yourself in the ring and challenging the status quo, if you think it is unfair or that you can fix it, well have a go at doing so.
His greatest lesson was and still is to be present and loving father as shown by his love and affection of mum, which is as strong today, as it was when they married almost 62 years ago. This outstanding example developed our social skills, it taught us about healthy relationships, respect, and cooperation. It showed how important the involvement of a caring father is in the life and development of their child. It is something I have strived to replicate in raising my four kids. His positive involvement and example taught us to behave better, have stronger and broader social connections, and improve our performance in society and school and to accept others who have a different opinion from you and respect their right to it, but do not be afraid to express your point of view. To never think you are better than anyone else is one constant message I remember.
The role he played in our mental health and wellbeing by being available to listen, support and offer advice cannot be overstated. He assisted us to navigate tough emotions, fostered our resilience and emotional intelligence and show us how to deal with life’s ups and downs and reinforced that the sun will get up tomorrow and how we approached the new day was entirely our choice.
He gave us permission to shoot for the stars and live our own life, and always supported us 100% in the decisions we made, even if he may have thought it was wrong.
The role my father played in shaping my life is nothing short of extraordinary. His influence goes beyond just providing for me and my family; he, along with mum, shaped our character, values, and future through his love, guidance, and active involvement.
He is the perfect, absolute example of the importance a Father plays in the upbringing of his children.
As a dedicated father he enriched our family and supported our development as well as that of our friends and helped us them grow into happy and successful adults.
I often think if every child was fortunate to have the childhood I had, what an amazingly different place the world may be!
So please don’t underestimate the important role a Father plays in Society today, it is critical.
By Peter Murphy (Director C3Talent)
